Monday, December 22, 2008

No snow......

I don't know why but I am feeling a little glum today. Yesterday too actually. I feel like I could just cry right now and I don't know why.

Christmas is only a few days away, I am pretty much ready for it - just have to wrap a few more gifts.

Maybe I feel glum because we did my side of the family Christmas on Saturday and so that part of the excitement is done. A lot of times after the holiday people get the blues, so maybe that it is.

Maybe it is because on Saturday I was getting ready for the family extravaganza and we got a phone call that my BIL (who had fallen at work the day before) had ruptured a disc in his neck and was now feel week on his right side. He ended up having surgery on Saturday - they removed 2 discs and now are waiting to see what damage was done to the spinal chord. His doctor said he expected that he would go back to work (3 - 6 months) so I am thinking that is a good thing and that he will get all his feeling back, since as a police officer if he wasn't physically able he wouldn't be going back to work. But it was such a shock and I don't know why but it really brought me down. But we have good news so why am I feeling so down?

Maybe it is because there were 2 big snowstorms this weekend and we didn't get a lick of snow.....rain, rain, rain! We've only lived in the Central part of our state for 2.5 years and I am used to getting lots of snow (which of course I wasn't happy about when we lived up north). I really wanted some snow, a few inches would have been fine but nothing.

Maybe I am letting the economic news and all the "bad" stuff in the news affect me more than I thought I was.

Maybe it's because I haven't been taking my medication as regularly as I should (shhhhhhhh, don't tell DH).

Maybe it's because it gets dark at stinkin' 5pm.

Maybe it's because of some other news I got from someone very important to me and I am hurting for them.

Maybe it's because I feel like I am not a very good friend and it shows because I don't have many friends. I don't have a "group of girlfriends". I see pictures of groups of girlfriends, I see my sister with her group of girlfriends and I think what is my problem. It is my own fault, I don't make the effort. My two best friends live far away and I haven't heard from them or them me in weeks now. I've been at my church for over 2 years and I have friends but no one that I feel completely comfortable and myself with, no one that I do stuff with, although I have tried to build those relationships.

Maybe it's because I have let my devotions slip by the wayside in recent months.

Maybe it's because I stopped working on my weight and haven't been to the gym in over 3 months and have gained back a good portion of the weight I lost.

Well all I know is that it's my job to turn those things around (except I can't do anything about the snow part). I have to work at my relationships with the Lord and with others, I need to work on my body, I need to remember to take my medicine, I need to trust the Lord and have peace no matter what the news brings and I need to be thankful for the sun, which I do love more than snow!

So now that I have spit all this yuck out I need to leave you with something to put a smile back on your face and mine. So here goes.....


Blessings and Joy December 22, 2008 at 12:07 PM  

Thanks for sharing so honestly. I can relate. It seems everyone else loves this time of year. I just don't -- for a myriad of relatively unimportant reasons. I really have to work to find joy in it.

So I've been working every day this month to wake up and remember that THIS is the day that the LORD has made, I WILL rejoice and be GLAD in it. Most days it's helping.

Thanks again for being open, now I can pray for you! That's what this whole blogging thing should be about -- letting others into the good, bad and ugly in our lives and allowing God to work through us in the process. Your transparency has been a blessing to me this morning.


Liz December 22, 2008 at 12:55 PM  

Totally understand how you feel. I do think it can be a mom thing too. We do so much, and get overloaded, and then Christmas comes and we've been preparing for weeks, and then it's over!

Also,about the friends issue.... It took us a good 15 years to find a really GREAT church, and a GREAT group of friends. It takes time, really. Keep praying and continue to ask the Lord for one good girl friend, who is close by. You need friends close by, and I understand how you felt and still feel with Ruth being in FL. But life goes on, and you have a wonderful life there with your hubby and girls. Christmas can be hard, us Mom's do everything, well at least I do, and we can get run down. Take some time for yourself. Don't beat yourself up about your weight, especially now...enjoy the food and get back at it after it's all over. But get back on your med's....whatever they are for, you need them. I'll pray for life isn't perfect either, I get hung-up on things too...I have a post that I have been wanting to write, but think everyone will take it the wrong way....maybe now that you're honest, I will be too. Enjoy your Christmas.....pray for good christian girlfriends, the Lord is able to send them your way.

Walking on Sunshine... December 22, 2008 at 1:35 PM  

Seems everyone said things I wanted to say, but one thing I know is it's okay to have down days. You shouldn't be too hard on yourself. The world makes everyone think that life is perfect, you should have the perfect tree, the perfect decorations, perfect husband and kids and guess what? Life isn't always perfect and sometimes it's just plain hard and sad. But just slow down, put on some great worship CD's and try and concentrate on what we're truly celebrating. Hope you'll be okay, will check back in a few hours.

Busy Mom in NJ December 23, 2008 at 10:21 PM  

Hi Sue - I know this was probably a hard thing for you to write. Your blogging buddies love you and are praying for you. I feel a lot of the same frustrations you do. God is faithful - hang in there! Love ya! xoxo

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