Boob Squeeze

Got your attention, huh?

I've been getting a yearly mammogram since I was 30. I have some breast cancer in my family history and so I really am happy to go each year for the mammo just to be proactive and keep on top of things.

I have to admit I went longer than a year between my last one and the one I got today. Just busy and putting it off, that's my excuse. Of course when my husband does that I give him grief and I certainly don't allow my children's appointments to be missed so why do I allow it for myself? It's important for us to take care of OURSELVES too, ladies. So if you've been putting off a doctor's appointment schedule it NOW!

Oh and by the way you are definitely better off NOT to get the boob squeeze when you are about to get your period or have your period. It is killer. Ask me how I know......... wink, wink.

Memories

Yesterday I was looking at some other old pictures and this one caught my eye.


We had just moved down here and it was just the four of us. We didn't know anyone and we were in a brand new place. It was really a great time for me because there were no other distractions. The kids weren't caught up with their friends, I wasn't busy with church stuff and Jeff had just started a new job. We could and did focus on spending time together and exploring our new area.

This day we decided to try out one of the many walking trails that our county offers. This particular park had a couple of trails to choose from with lots of streams and a big pond. It was a crisp, sunny fall day and the four of us and Nemo set out on an adventure. The girls were enjoying looking at the "stuff" that could be found in the stream and I snapped this shot of them crossing over a bridge.

This picture is a reflection of what I hope will be the girls relationship for many years to come. Quietly content, comfortable with each other and enjoying the exploration of all the great things this life has for them!

O Christmas Tree, O Christmas Tree

Growing up we always had a fake Christmas tree. Jeff, I think, always had a real tree. So when we got married we started our tradition of getting a real tree. Once with had kids we started the tradition of going and cutting down our tree. I was thinking about it when we went this past Saturday how many years we've shared this tradition now. It's got to be at least ten years. So I went looking on my hard drive for any pictures of us cutting down our tree......

2005 - me and the girls checking out the trees.....


The big, strong dad cutting down the tree


Me and the girls dragging the tree out of the woods (that didn't last long - we were laughing too hard to move it)



2006 - Picking out a tree, so many to choose from......


Nemo came along for a romp on the farm

Here is another one overlooking the beautiful horse farm next to the tree farm.


These were the pictures from this Christmas. Last year we got our three from Home Depot (yeah, cheesy) and the year before we had a $50 FAKE tree because we were living in the "cottage" so this year we were back to our tradition and went back to the same farm as we did in the picture above.



And we had to do another shot like the one the first year we lived here. Wow, the girls have grown up.


I am so happy that they still like to participate in our family tradition of picking and cutting down our own tree. It makes this Mommy very, very happy.

Unbelievable

And these kinds of things are why it will never get better and why I don't trust a single politician

Those Tweens....

And if they're not taking pictures of themselves they're making videos. Here's a cute one....one of oh, I'd say atleast 50 on my memory card. The other girl is my "third daughter," Erica's best friend.

Tweens

What is about 11, 12 year old girls? They become OBSESSED with taking their picture. And what is it with that sideways looking, cheek squeezing, lip puckering pose they do....oh and let's not forget about the peace sign.

From Blogger Pictures

Erica went through this when she was 12 but Megan is an "early bloomer" and has been stealing my camera and taking pictures at breakneck speed ever since she turned 11.

A sampling for you....

From Blogger Pictures

From Blogger Pictures

From Blogger Pictures

But I can't really complain because she is quite a beauty! My Meggie is growing up. She is very independent, yet hates when Mommy isn't home. She doesn't like to give hugs, but wants me to take the deer with the broken leg that we see by our house to the vet because she can't stand that it may be in pain. She's smart, beautiful, funny as anything, very private and very strong. I can't wait to see where this tween goes in life! It's gonna be great.

From Blogger Pictures

And when she gets there I'll have these pictures to remind her of where she came from!

A cousin bonanza

Last week my sister, my parents and I traveled out to Pennsylvania for my aunt's memorial service. (I wrote about Aunt Bea in a previous post)

Well, let me just say my father's driving is atrocious.....yikes.....scaaaaary. Besides tailgating 18 wheelers and driving 40 miles an hour on dark country roads with hills the size of Mt. Kilamanjaro, he is not the most patient driver and likes to talk to the GPS. So anyway that was quite the experience, fun was had by all as long as we kept our eyes closed. (LOVE YOU DAD)

So we got to the memorial service on Thursday and were so happy to see so many of our cousins there. You see we are a BIG family. I don't know the total of how many cousins, second cousins and such...well let me add up the cousins right now. I have 29 first cousins (including me) on my mom's side so add an average of 2 kids per cousin and you have another about 60 or so second cousins. We are a close family even though we don't see each other as often as we would like because we are spread out. We are loud and emotional, prone to quick tears and we love the Lord! What a legacy our Oma and Opa left us.

I really love my family. As I get older I understand so much more how important family is and how blessed I am to be part of the Flemming Clan!

So You Think You Can Dance

I worked major, major hours the last two days so today's post is going to be a fluff piece, okay? Cut me some slack. Anyway, I love So You Think You can Dance. Just Love that show!

This song is just so emotional and so strong. It really portrays the feeling of the song. I love music and dancing that portrays feelings.

Here is one of my all time favorite pieces:">


And here's one that I love because 1.) Legacy and Russell are my two favorites and 2.) The dancing is just plain awesome!

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In memory of a very special lady

My Aunt Bea passed away. She was in her later 70's. She lived out in Pennsylvania now and I hadn't seen her in a few years. She and Uncle Karl lived about 45 minutes away from us when we were young. Uncle Karl and me and my brother all share the same birthday. I can remember many times on that day going out to their house to celebrate out birthdays. They always made us feel so special and important to them.

Aunt Bea and Uncle Karl have one child, Lori. But you know what, they had lots of other kids like me and my siblings and my Uncle Ursula's kids and so many of my other cousins. You know why? Because of Aunt Bea. She was loud and crazy, funny and opinionated and boy did she love. She loved with all her heart and she made sure we knew it and she made sure we stayed on the narrow road. If she saw us going off the path she didn't hesitate to say something.

She called me and my brother Stevie and Susie. She gave us gifts at Christmas and our birthday. She made us laugh and she helped raise us into the people we are today.

A lot of my cousins have been commenting on Facebook about how much we are going to miss her. It's a testament to how much she meant to all of us.

In recent years Aunt Bea and Uncle Karl haven't been well. Like I said, I haven't seen them in a while. For a long time now I've been thinking I needed to send her a card and just tell her how much she always meant to me and that I loved her. Oh, I know I have told her I loved her before, but Aunt Bea was the type who liked to hear it more than once! You know, I never sent that card. And now I have such a big regret. I know that I will see her again in heaven some day. I don't doubt that one bit and when I get there I am going to hear that loud and distinct laugh of her's, but I wish I had had one more chance on this earth to tell her that I love her.

So be sure to tell those you love what you think, especially those that you may think, "Oh they know how I feel about them," because you know they may just need to be reminded sometimes.

Whoa...wow.....uh, where have I been?

My mom keeps saying, "I still check your blog but you haven't written anything in so long." I then proceed to tell her that when my mind is actually clear and free enough to think of something fun, funny, useless or interesting to write I will write.

Well, this is going to be neither fun, funny, (maybe useless) or interesting. It's been many, many months since I have written in my blog because I have been working full time and more because Jeff lost his job back in June.

There is so much I could say about that but it's just too much of a burden to even write it and it's too overwhelming and sad. I have run the gamut of emotions, scared, sad, angry, disappointed, confident, and now I am pretty much numb.

These five months I have barely lived. I have gone through the motions, I have done what had to be done but I haven't lived, except for a few short hours here and there. It is my own fault. I have allowed this test to overtake my entire life. I sit at the computer ALL DAY. Not because I am working every minute but because I have let my life slip away. I waste time and "goof off" to try to get away from actually living. I keep saying, "Once Jeff gets a job, I'll....." fill in the blank because I have left most of my life blank since this happened.

I know that is not what God wants for me. But I do feel like, Okay God haven't we gone through enough yet? Legal stuff, losing our house, Jeff's hospitalizations and now Jeff losing his job. Come on, like really? Oh, I know it could be SO much worse. That's the scary part. I KNOW that in the scheme of life we are actually RICH compared to most of the world. And I know that we have our health and our children are happy and we all are living for God, so why can't I let that be enough. I have not learned to be content in whatever situation I find myself. I am not content - I am numb, I am blank.

No, before you start worrying I am not depressed (other than just feeling down today because DH didn't make the final cut for the only job that was sit on the possible horizon). This is about learning to live even when life isn't giving you rainbows of Skittles and pots of gold. Learning to be content, believing God for everything else.

God and I had a conversation a few days ago. I said, "Wow you really have done miracles to make sure all our bills have been paid, it truly is a miracle." But then I kind of said to myself (hoping God wouldn't hear wink, wink) "But when it is all going to dry up? When is it going to become too much financially?" And God said to me, "Hey Sue, haven't I provided for you in your life up till now?" "Yes, you have, Lord." "Do I own everything and have the power to do anything?" "Yes, you do, Lord." "Are my riches going to dry up?" "No, Lord." "What do you think I am like a health savings account, once you use up the funds saved in that account that's it, there's no more for you? No, my accounts never dry up." And then there was me, smiling at the Lord trying to be cute because I was embarrassed by my lack of trust.

I have to remember his mercies are NEW every morning. His ability to protect, provide and sustain us never dries up.

Enough rambling, but I had to get this out there because I have to take responsiblity for my actions and I have to start living again and I have to learn to be content in whatever situation I find myself in, because all situations we find ourselves in the Lord is in them with us!

Easter Funny.....

In these uncertain times.....

I am doing a special in church in April and I have a song but this song keeps coming back to me and I keep singing it over and over. It's not really in my key and I am thinking about having the worship team play for me because the words speak so clearly to me.

In these uncertain times, the financial chaos, the unrest in the world, the moral decay, concerns for children, family and friends I am so comforted to be reminded...."You were there, You were there in the midst of dangers snare, You were there, You were there ALWAYS."

And these lines remind me to put my complete trust ONLY in HIM...."So haven't I learned that my ways aren't as high as Yours are. And YOU ALONE keep the universe from crumbling into dust."

JESUS ALWAYS HAS AND ALWAYS WILL BE THERE. Thank you, thank you, thank you my Jesus.

I'm having trouble embedding the video today, but PLEASE clink the link and listen to the song. You WILL be encouraged, I'm sure of it.

You Were There, by Avalon

So proud of her....

Yesterday Erica and her friend did a special at church for the first time. She is 12 - turning 13 in May. They did such a wonderful job. I remember the first time that I sang in church for the first time. I blew on my hair every two or three seconds and hid behind the music stand.

Erica has so much more poise than I did at that age and had wonderful harmonies. I couldn't hold back the tears! She and her friend will be performing at Fine Arts in April.

What a great kid.

It's snowing??!!!

Today is March 20th, the FIRST.DAY.OF.SPRING......did the weather not get the memo? I'm laying in bed this morning and my daughter walks in and says, "Mom, it's snowing." "Yeah right, Erica." "No really, it's snowing." "Well that's just dumb, today's the first day of spring." I get out of bed put my glasses on, cause I'm basically blind without them and sure enough, it's snowing. Well that just does not make any sense, AT ALL.

I'm ready for spring, I'm ready for opening windows and hearing birds chirping, working outside in the yard, planting tomatoes and cucumbers. I'm hoping this is winters last little thumbing of its nose and farewell speech.

But I have to say the flakes are really very pretty - small ones and then real, real big ones.

Happy Spring everybody!

Okay, so this just cracked.me.up!

Some scrapbook layouts

Well last weekend I went to a scrapbook crop. I was there for all of Saturday until Sunday at 4pm. I had a great, great time - didn't get as many pages done as I would have liked though. Following are a few of my creations. (you can click the pictures to make them bigger)

A little useless but entertaining video....

They're all amazing but the first guy.....wow!

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Me time!

In honor of my scrapbooking weekend I'm going to post a couple of layouts. When I get home from my "me time" I hope to have lots more to share. I am so looking forward to going, but I have to get my work done and plan my pages first.

Outside my window

Since I sit at my desk all day and I love the sunshine I positioned myself up against a big window. It is on the side of our house and looks down a hill into our woods. Here is my newest fascination.....
Mr. Blue Jay - I have two of these guys that come and play outside my window.
Is he not the cuties thing ever?! This is a titmouse, my favorite bird. Look at his adorable little legs. So cute. A beautiful cardinal. The colors are so vibrant on these guys.


I also have a couple of woodpeckers (I got some pictures but they weren't great so I'm stalking them for better pictures). And the other day there must have been literally 10 robins in this big holly tree we have outside.

My husband is going to get me a bird feeder to put outside my window that I can have seeds for them to come and eat and then I can get even better pictures.

I love nature! It's the little things, you know?!

Signs of Spring....

Well The Inspired Room had a post on her blog about what she was looking forward to with Spring. I thought that would be a good post, since it is SNOWING here and we have about 7 inches on the ground with probably a couple more still to come. It is March 2nd right?

Now, I know I live in New Jersey but you have to understand. We moved to Central Jersey almost 3 years ago. In those three years we didn't get anything more than a dusting until this year when a month or so ago we got like 2 or 3 inches. So in 3 years we had only gotten like 3 inches. When we lived in North Jersey we had winters of 3 or 4 snowstorms EACH totalling a foot of snow. So this is a big deal down here.

I was hoping and praying for snow all winter. I was feeling let down and sad that we didn't get much snow here. But come on now, it's March, March means springtime to me! So this snow, meh, not too happy. (But I did hear it's supposed to be in the 50's by Friday so I'm going to enjoy it today and hope it melts quickly).

But in honor of my faith that spring will be here shortly, here are the 20 things that I look forward to in Spring:


1. More SUNSHINE
2. The sound of chirping birds
3. Being able to open the windows and air out the stuffy winter
4. Short sleeves
5. Getting to work on the landscaping
6. Inhaling the crisp spring air
7. Getting the motivation to want to clean
8. Tulips, tulips, tulips (my favorite flower!)
9. Spring Break
10. Seeing the new baby foals at the horse farm near by
11. Bike rides with the family
12. Green grass
13. Trees budding and finally bursting
14. Putting away the winter coats
15. Not needing to find matching socks
16. Decorating Easter eggs
17. Staying light later at night
18. Pulling out the patio furniture
19. Daffodils and pansies
20. More SUNSHINE

Happy Spring everybody, it's on its way!